you can't do that to shatner.

my friend marlise has a new book out, about the years right after college when she magically created herself a job as a reporter for the globe. i just bought it yesterday, and am really enjoying it; one of the early highlights is her getting into william shatner's 50-guest wedding reception by pretending to be drunk and pee in the bushes--this after being turned away at the gate, to which she brought a big lavender tiffany's box with a pickle dish in it.

this led to a fun email string -

i've always liked you, marlise. and now ... what can i do but marvel at the retardedly high extremes of likeability to which you've traveled: you brought a pickle dish to william shatner's wedding... you gave william shatner a pickle dish. a tiny wittle dish in a big purple box, for him to put his pickles in.
--
a great deal of thought went into that purchase. it was either that or a key chain, but the key chain would have come in a pouch. couldn't do that to shatner.
--
1) no, i don't expect you could

2) couldn't do that to shatner is destined to become a fantastic hit song, a party song, maybe with a scissor sisters disco rock kind of sound, like

3) whoa-oh / you can't do that to the shat / no no / can't get on the list / put his pickles in a dish, oh no / i said you can't / can't ride the shatner / dip his fish in your batter / oh yeah / best bring a platter / or a dish if you wish / to ever do that to shatner / if you wanna do that to the shat / oh yeah / oh, no.


tabloid prodigy is great fun. click the entry title to go to marlise's site.