31 March 2006

weatherpants.

off to a ragged start today but it fits, for today.
today is not specifically

what. what do you mean what. your silence is yelling at me that's what.

do you know how you look at me these days
you're the weatherman
off-camera, waiting, desperately
bored yet glaring, blaring
you have to know this, your whole body
is rhetorical.

today is the topic, but since your ennui
is about to kill you, let's try the parlance of your 5-day forecast,

today is not noticeably downcast, neither is it hopeful!
today is not bouyant, and by tomorrow today may experience feelings of drowning!


but, see, that full-body cynicism is so much
work to keep up all the time. my version's not sunshine
just simpler, and so much brighter for it,

today wanted the day off and didn't get it
today took a short lunch
hopes to get done early.
on some days today regrets canceling cable.

28 March 2006

huntsmanic

funny ha ha, funny queer. a number of comments have been made about my new email username, huntsmanic@. and these comments have been ... skeptical, let's say. when i have asked if that amount of sarcasm is really called for, commenters have conceded that well, it is funny. huntsmanic is funny. then they pause, yoda-style. this pause extends the word “funny” to include less formal meanings, like hella-funny, f'ing-funny, and uber-funny, but also the more deprecatory funny-my-ass-funny, you-lookin-at-me-funny-funny, and don’t-quit-your-job-even-your-retail-one-funny. so it seems that we should clear some things up. let's define our terms.

huntsmanic, in context. it’s not like i’m announcing a new personal catch phrase, people. but if that’s how it’s going to be approached then this bears clarification—because we are done with catchphrases. have gone beyond them. what we have here is not a phrase but a word. a new one—with huntsmanic we have gone back to the lexicon and forged a composite, a new substance. huntsmanic is both fully huntsman and fully manic. but also it’s something else.

something else is what people say when they have already given the wrong answer. but too it is where people turn when none of their ideas are working, and it is these people who are best prepared to benefit from huntsman. it’s not a happy place to be, nor a comfortable one, walking around with the fetal posture of somebody who’s trying to stave off the inevitable. and huntsman understands this. huntsman knows what it is like to be so frowny-faced all the time that you worry about growing jowels, and too huntsman knows that such thinking circles back on itself and eventually you realize that you are worrying about the effects of your own worry, which is like a self-fulfilling prophecy thing, a cyclical, circular image that makes you think of a gerbil running on his exercise wheel, happy to be running at first but then just running and running and not getting anywhere, the running won’t ever stop and the image just won’t get out of your head and now you are manic. it’s okay, have a seat. you can talk if you want. huntsman won’t freak out on you, won’t be all in a hurry to end the discussion. huntsman even liked ally mcbeal before she stopped eating. this here is a meeting place, a delta, where manic flows together with huntsman and goes out for a riverboat tour with their friends sense of foreboding and calculated slowness. it’s too soon to say the particulars of how the dynamic will shape up, but they’re serving watercress sandwiches for lunch, and someone (huntsman?) brought beer and cheez-its in the daypack. should be nice.

27 March 2006

like poets do.

art works in many ways and sometimes the ways are not obvious. sometimes you have to look; at others you have to just let yourself feel it. like today. i’m up on whidbey island, it’s sunny and everything is crisp; i go down to the beach where the wind is roaring and walk next to the crashing waves, arms spread wide like pre-iceberg leonardo. and a scene from a film comes to my mind, this one that my mind won’t let go of. as sometimes happens in art—a piece or a scene will have a particular impact that resonates and keeps popping up until you are satisfied. this one is from mean girls, an exchange between the main nice girl and the slutty mean girl. it goes like this.

main nice girl: c'mon. there must be something you're good at.
slutty mean girl: well... i'm kinda psychic. i have a fifth sense.
main nice girl: what do you mean?
slutty mean girl: it's like i have espn or something. my breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
main nice girl: really? that's amazing.
slutty mean girl: well, they can tell when it's raining.

and there’s so much going on in that scene; it’s a lot to process. today there i was, standing before the waves, a seagull gliding motionless in the wind above me, the mean girls scene running on repeat, and it was like the world handing me a big bag of good vibes, you know? everything just came together, all at once, so. i wrote a song, right there in my head, like wordsworth on his constitutional:

here comes the rain again.
falling on my breasts like a memory.
falling on my breasts like a new emotion.
they want to move in the open wind.
they want to bounce like lovers do.
they want to dive into your ocean.
do you have sunscreen with you.
so boobies bare for me.
like poets do.
stand for me.
like soldiers do.
bare for me.
like strippers do.
here comes the rain again.
raining on my boobs like a tragedy.
wetting my shirt like a new emotion.
oooooh.
they want to move in the open wind.
they want to bounce like lovers do.
they want to dive into your ocean.

do you have sunscreen with you.

06 March 2006

Bible Desk - Proof THE BIBLE IS TRUE.

i just wanted to go to my blog, just to write an ordinary little entry about the complex miasma that is my daily life. (today has been an average day, good and bad out for a walk together, so i had in mind a short something, thematically concerned with the looming void of compounding darkness that sucks in my every righteous intention but expressed metaphorically as a daily entry from the diary i used to keep for my cabbage patch kid, whose name was dwight.) but i made a typo on the way to my blog:

apiletostepin.blogpot.com

just a simple omission: blogpot. kind of funny. only NOT FUNNY. VERY SERIOUS. because it took me here:

BIBLE COLLEGE ON LINE (If it's in the Bible, it should be on this site.)

and, huh. i was just at men's group this morning, where we played and read and examined different definitions of the kingdom of god. maybe this could offer an easily found supplement to what we'd posited. it is, after all, a college. a very open-minded one. here are some excerpts:


"Let’s prove the Bible is true and that we are nearing the end of the last generation before Christ returns.

THE SOON COMING CLIMAX
(bIBLE PROPHECY—a very brief summary)
(pROOF THE BIBLE IS TRUE AND WE ARE NOW IN THE LATTER DAYS)


This message may be called a road sign of warning. Some may look at a sign that reads—THE BRIDGE IS OUT, and say, “Oh, someone is just trying to scare us into taking another road; let’s go on the same way.” They go on and plunge to their death. The sign was not meant to scare people, but to warn them of impending danger. The sign was put there, because someone cared and didn’t want others to die.

God wants you to know, WHEN YOU SEE THESE THINGS COME TO PASs, KNOW YE THAT THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS NIGH AT HAND-Lk 21:31.

Will Russia and some Arab nations invade Israel? Yes

Will the U.S.A. become involved in this war? Yes.

here is the tastiest line i read, regarding going to church (post-conversion, which it is suggested may have happened by the time you've read this far down the page)

Attend often and get baptized. Tell others that Jesus is your only hope of salvation. If you’ve just said that prayer and committed your life to Jesus, please e-mail us and let us know. We would like to pray for you and send you some free literature.


...so, ah, there we have it, saved for the end: this is the work of a frustrated writer. thanks for the info, comrade.