27 March 2008

dear small hungry shivering self: sit down and shut the f up.


it is an uneasy lot at best, to be what we call highly taught and yet not to enjoy: to be present at this great spectacle of life and never be liberated from a small hungry shivering self—never to be fully possessed by the glory we behold, never to have our consciousness rapturously transformed into the vividness of a thought, the ardour of a passion, the energy of an action, but always to be scholarly and uninspired, ambitious and timid, scrupulous and dimsighted.

-george eliot, middlemarch

25 March 2008

the last of not all that many.

the latest christopher hitchens piece on slate.com is some fantastic browbeating. It opens

It's been more than a month since I began warning Sen. Barack Obama that he would become answerable for his revolting choice of a family priest.

and concludes

"Obama's description of the parishioners in his church gave white listeners a glimpse of a world of faith (with 'raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor … dancing, clapping, screaming, and shouting') that has been the primary means of black survival and uplift." A glimpse, huh? What the hell next? A tribute to the African-American sense of rhythm?

To have accepted Obama's smooth apologetics is to have lowered one's own pre-existing standards for what might constitute a post-racial or a post-racist future. It is to have put that quite sober and realistic hope, meanwhile, into untrustworthy and unscrupulous hands. And it is to have done this, furthermore, in the service of blind faith. Mark my words: This disappointment is only the first of many that are still to come.



i'm not often one to jump into the comments section on a not-my-friend's-blog site; previously, the 2 exceptions have been a) to pithily put own a bunch of pointless people screaming about anne lamott on salon, and b) to make fun of christopher hitchens being pointless. well, today i did it again, and am copying it here, as much as anything for wickedly, mindblowingly pointless response i got.

Mark his words: This disappointment is the first of many
by huntsmanic

We'll be sure to do that, Mr Hitch. Thanks for the tip. We'll mark your words and store them in a super-safe place: the same box where we put all your words you told us to mark about the urgency of the US mission in Iraq. There were a lot of those, huh.

It's one thing to be a vaguely bitter snob who decries other people’s snobbery; that’s what snobs do. Hitchens, though, gamer that he is, takes it to the next level, shouting down hypocrisy while valiantly refusing to acknowledge his own mistakes. And now he’s predicting Obama’s future dishonor? Based on the words of a former pastor? Nice.

The Hitch reminds me of the single, middle-aged, strange-smelling uncle who turns up at family holidays: always flat broke; but all he wants to talk about is the new pyramid scheme.

You just come to accept him how he is, eventually, right? There's nothing to be done about. He’s going to miss everything cool and die angry.

Re: Mark his words: This disappointment is the first of many
by GettinHitchyWitIt

You chose not to notice (or failed to notice) that he took a similar shot at McCain's religious supporters. You chose not to realize (or failed to realize) that his comment about more to come was a general one, not specifically aimed at Obama. Worst, you chose not to keep (or failed to keep) your disagreements with Hitchens' support for the war in Iraq separate from your take on a completely different issue.

Those who spread hatred and conspiratorial nonsense and those who apologize for them are everywhere. Thank you, huntsmanic, for reminding us. If many of us die angry, it likely will be because of people like you.

Re: Mark his words: This disappointment is the first of many
by huntsmanic

Thanks for tellin' it like it is, GettinHitchy.

1. Nobody mentioned McCain until you did

2. Nobody realized that a paragraph with the subjects "Obama" and "you" is actually about neither

3. Nobody kept in mind that making vague, spooky predictions is the best way to go when you've very recently been dead wrong about something

4. You failed (just plain failed) to make a cohesive point?

20 March 2008

nine tips to take your huntsmanic experience to the next level.



what doesn't ruin my reputation only makes me stronger. from this week's issue of the phoenix times...

Nine tips to take your strip club experience to the next level


By Colin "Manhands" Redding

Published: March 13, 2008

"We can talk about anything you want, long as you're naked."

— Congressman David Dilbeck (Burt Reynolds) in the 1996 movie Striptease

Striptease is a terrible movie. And there are, without a doubt, a lot of terrible strip clubs. But why is it that we feel we can say anything to a woman if she's naked? And more to the point, it's amazing what we'll sit and listen to, if there is nudity involved.

Seriously, a trip to the strip joint almost guarantees a pointless conversation. I can't tell you how many times I've led with the line, "Hi, I'm Dirk Malibu," or "Hello, I'm Harry. Harry Butterscotch," or if I'm at a gay club, "My name's Mark Huntsman." It doesn't really matter what is said because the people with no clothes on are there to take your money, and you are there to see them naked — leave the romance at home.

Depraved? Hell, yeah! It saddens me, watching topless woman on all fours gobbling up dollar bills, but hell if it isn't entertaining. I still laugh when I see some stranger on the street trip and fall. I can't help it...

for the full lazy, slippery, worthless article, go here.