nine tips to take your huntsmanic experience to the next level.

what doesn't ruin my reputation only makes me stronger. from this week's issue of the phoenix times...

Nine tips to take your strip club experience to the next level


By Colin "Manhands" Redding

Published: March 13, 2008

"We can talk about anything you want, long as you're naked."
— Congressman David Dilbeck (Burt Reynolds) in the 1996 movie Striptease

Striptease is a terrible movie. And there are, without a doubt, a lot of terrible strip clubs. But why is it that we feel we can say anything to a woman if she's naked? And more to the point, it's amazing what we'll sit and listen to, if there is nudity involved.

Seriously, a trip to the strip joint almost guarantees a pointless conversation. I can't tell you how many times I've led with the line, "Hi, I'm Dirk Malibu," or "Hello, I'm Harry. Harry Butterscotch," or if I'm at a gay club, "My name's Mark Huntsman." It doesn't really matter what is said because the people with no clothes on are there to take your money, and you are there to see them naked — leave the romance at home.

Depraved? Hell, yeah! It saddens me, watching topless woman on all fours gobbling up dollar bills, but hell if it isn't entertaining. I still laugh when I see some stranger on the street trip and fall. I can't help it...

for the full lazy, slippery, worthless article, go here.