dear fat kid - random paragraph.

Never before has such a laid back dude made me so impatient. I’m laid back, relatively, so in that sense it’s surprising that Patois was oil to my water, straightaway. But my modest slackerdom was crushed under his inertia, and I found myself transformed into my own ex-girlfriend—any one of them, doesn’t matter, as long as its near the end of our relationship: she’s always tense, her affection for me all but extinct—even when she intends to coo something sweet she sounds like a rooster stretching—meanwhile I’m militantly laid back about everything, which is to say detached, because it’s not like I can’t see her fun and interesting parts going up the boarding plank in a huff, leaving behind only the stepsisters Snippiness and Distress, making a scene big enough that I’d try to woo her fun parts back to shore, I really would, if I weren’t so busy chilling. I don’t fucking care. That’s where Patois was when he came over today. He was Hal in Relationship He’s Too Chill and/or Lazy and/or Terrified to End, and he played the part with aplomb. The opposite lead starred me as Fed Up Bitchy Girlfriend Hal’s Almost Done Alienating, and I went all Stanislavsky on that shit, really giving myself permission to become FUBGHADA. While I can’t say how my performance played from the other side of the stage, I can tell you that articulating negative emotion to a dude so inexorably relaxed felt exactly as satisfying as yelling at a tectonic plate for failing to shift.