ba da ba ba baa ... i'm lovin' it less and less.

i've had only crap coaches in my life, from pee-wee to high school, so i've had a lot of time to imagine my dream coach, then idolize him. looking back, i can say i was selective in my imaginings; i didn't want the part where gene hackman or kurt russell makes the team work out for hours after a devastating loss; what i wanted was the part where gene hackman or kurt russell's collected rage steams out into the open and explodes at someone who marginally if at all deserves the barrage of merciless gypsy insults. when coaches like gene hackman or kurt russell show themselves in real life, i'm awed; in boyhood-fantasy terms, it's akin to ariel splashing up where i walk, up where i run, up where i play all day in the sun and wandering free with me, part of my world--you won't need those seashells up here, baby. let me get those for you. after football practice one day last week, navy coach paul johnson felt ready to remind us of a simpler time, a time of hard work and honest pay, down at the docks.

Reporter: Can I ask you something without making you mad?

Johnson: Maybe. I don't know.

Reporter: I was talking to a Navy fan and he said he follows the coverage and that he noticed something and I'm just going to put it to you. He says that it seems like when Navy loses you blame the players, i.e., we can't execute fundamental plays, but that the success of the team the last four years has been attributed to brilliant coaching. How do you respond to that?

Johnson: Whatever he thinks. I don't go down to McDonald's and start second-guessing his job so he ought to leave me alone.

Reporter: But do you feel like it can't be both ways?

Johnson: You know what? I could care less. I'm old enough where I could give a crap what the fans think or what you think to put it in a nutshell.

Reporter: Wins and losses are evenly distributed as far as credit and blame, right?

Johnson: If you could ever find one time that I said we won the game because of brilliant strategy I will kiss your butt at city dock and give you two days to draw a crowd. Find it and bring it to me.