comp re: hend

in its sparse few minutes of free time each day, my head has dedicated itself to the puzzle of constructing effective rhetoric. and has gotten really good at it. the trick is to simplify everything until you have what is called an "elegant" solution. how this manifests, then, is that my head takes the issue du jour (today's Fat Tuesday Special: Creamed Ambition n' Corn) and applies the basic rules of formal logic. after carrying/creaming the issue to it's logical extent, it uses the "Alchemist's Razor" method (it's old and latin) to pare away all unnecessary assumptions until only a thin wafer of alloyed, make-believe pretense remains. once you get the hang of it, it's really quite fun. a recent consideration revealed itself thusly: last night i was accused of being a "dumb boy." i may not have even countered this point, except that it was made by a girl who was dumber than me. there is a multitude of evidence supporting this fact--a disproportionate interest in "tofu" is just one example--but i knew i had to summon the powers of old Alchemist to get my point across. once i had, it indisputably framed the issue: if A (she is dumber than me), then B (it's because she is a girl--her brain is a third the size of ours). it's Science.