what i am after in this whole mess--at least, as i am able to quanitfy it to-day--is to be as content as i possibly can. and to continually discover new iterations of contentment. not happiness; in addition to being a transient state, happy is rather alpha-dog. or, it is effort-intensive.
and it occurs to my reluctant spirit that, most days, contentedness runs in the same stride as positive thinking.
after his jog positive thinking comes home and runs into obsessive compulsion; they are neighbors. their conversation is filled with uncomfortable backyard clichés. this week, the topic is the ability to Take Pleasure in the Small Things, which they make no effort to acknowledge is about the fundamentally subjective interpretation of what is interesting.
the next absurdly common revelation to dawn is that the things that cause me to enjoy the company of a given person tend toward the microscopic—the way her smile crooks, his honest appreciation of the muppets. when I’m able to settle into the moment comfortably enough to look at them awhile, my ability to obsess goes home early, my keel returns to even; and my metaphors co-mingle agreeably.
1 comment:
you fucking cheater. you are not a bad person, just a fucking cheater. like derek jeter. and i am a cheater. a small machine eater. and the blog is whatever the fuck you chuck in it, like a garbage disoposal. there is no "stride" -- every day is a new chance to fork in the eye.
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