episode 4: a double hope.

a near-exact five years ago, on the closing afternoon of b.mac’s bachelor weekend, a day when quote-unquote simple motor skills required, like, full attention, he and i went to taco bell for some fucking burritos. an ad banner in the window proclaimed the new rice-and-beans burrito to be not just surprising but also yummy delicious. no linking comma or “and” in there; just a qualifier qualifying a second one that happened to mean precisely the same thing. and that thing was this. we had come to t.bell in search of a tasty fucking burrito, but our expectations were about to be exceeded; we were about to eat a fucking fuck burrito that was taste tasty. as one topic of conversation was quite enough for us on that afternoon, we then had an inspired like almost 4 hours of point-counterpointing about the social dangers of double positives. but we never got it quite right; we agreed that 2 positives should = 1 negative, but that we, as, you know, a society, ignore this somehow. today slate.com linked me back to an old michael kinsley column about the artistic genius of ari fleischer, former white house press secretary. it’s a short, great read. and it nails that very same principle.

the middle east? "i think that, as always, the president wants events to develop over time in a way that he hopes will be fruitful …" that "as always" is truly bravura banality. never for one moment has the president wavered in his desire to see events develop in ways he hopes will be fruitful. logicians may puzzle over how it is even possible to hope that your own hopes be dashed, but in case it is possible, the president is not doing it.

so the real math of it, the operation is just this: two positives (when they are of the same action or intent, like hope that your own hopes be) equals one impossibility. glad that’s finally settled.

note: if you have a fire passion for music, this could be it for you. the rock band troupe ari fleischer & the new logicians is now holding auditions. we already have a lead singer tambourine player but have spots open for a bassist, a jazz flutist, a steel drum player, a blond lesbian who plays an instrument, and groupies. please contact.