yeah! make that change!

it’s so nice outside. am in a particular brand of funk, here at the office today. here at PDS (Patient Data Services), where i have the patience to service nobody. where i am to sit still as i weigh the shortcomings of copious neat-sounding acronyms against the brassbound need of professional types to make everything simultaneously concise and hard to understand.

so i am straggling a bit, here. I do not in fact need senseless distraction---what I need, turns out, is something to chew on. a teaser, a shred, a strip of jerky on which my mind can chew. the parameters--the ones i'm making up right this minute--state that this imaginational chew toy should not be Heavy, ie, a long and unwieldy consideration such as MCPRACDA [My Career Path Resembles A Career Dark Alley] or FOOFMOTFOMR [Figure Out Own Future, Move On To Future of My Relationship (with a particular pixie of a girl whom to date i have avoided obsession with, but only narrowly; i do not need to be spending my morning break in the bathroom stall writing lovelorn poetry on my knee)]. but neither should this non-acronyminal “something” be entirely devoid of meaning-—i’ve tried that. turns out that composing a list that speculates as to the different ways my latina supervisor ended up with the nickname "gizmo" is a less than satisfactory way to pass the time. i need something with a little more meat on the bone--need to chew on it, yes, but also it should have some flavor. "flavah," i believe the young people call it. anyway, i decided that this was my task to-day, to find a mental chew toy to occupy my imagination's mouth.

..it hasn't gone well. a few moments ago i caught myself googling for michael jackson--not cos i wanted to read about the trial, no!--because i couldn't quite remember the words to “man in the mirror” and i very suddenly and compulsively needed total lyrical recall. in terms of a conduit for my creative juices, the (now) appallingly named jacksonfreak.net is ... is somewhat subpar. is stinky. not quite sure what of, yet, but surely it's rank. so if these words themselves have an odor, are rather tinged with desperation, blame michael.

i'm looking at the man in the mirror. i'm asking him to change his ways. (make that change)