coming at business from a new angle, with your host karl hungus.

open your mouth and close your eyes and you will get a pediatric surprise

put the mouse in his mouse hole--and we'll do the rest

making major changes while they're minors

open your mouth and say "aaaah, yes! harder"

[the pics: from a beneficient memo to the creative team from manager stebbins]

i don't need you guys to have a good time.

a quick study in high-fiving yourself, presented by andrew "all hot to party of one" bogut

i get on my bike--i ride off.

like the man says, good lord.

try fight fight try best try test fight.

[if you hate context, go to about the 55 sec mark]

i can unite cultures. i can eat ... planets.

you know this, uh ... this hero ... this dragonfly, he's not the answer, m'kay? i'm the answer.

chaplinesque.

We make our meek adjustments,
Contented with such random consolations
As the wind deposits
In slithered and too ample pockets.

For we can still love the world, who find
A famished kitten on the step, and know
Recesses for it from the fury of the street,
Or warm torn elbow coverts.

We will sidestep, and to the final smirk
Dally the doom of that inevitable thumb
That slowly chafes its puckered index toward us,
Facing the dull squint with what innocence
And what surprise!

And yet these fine collapses are not lies
More than the pirouettes of any pliant cane;
Our obsequies are, in a way, no enterprise.
We can evade you, and all else but the heart:
What blame to us if the heart live on.

The game enforces smirks; but we have seen
The moon in lonely alleys make
A grail of laughter of an empty ash can,
And through all sound of gaiety and quest
Have heard a kitten in the wilderness.

- Hart Crane

roberta l. nutt.

my name is bonnie beaver

some time ago on slate.com, an article appeared that was mainly a compilation of reader-submitted aptonyms--names that are fantastically apt as descriptors of the name-holders' jobs.


One disappointing discovery: Dr. Zoltan Ovary, identified to me by Madden back in 1969 as a gynecologist in Manhattan ("Honest Injun") was, in fact, an immunologist. He died this past June at the age of 98.

Anger Management
Dr. Richard Madden (Hudson, N.Y.)

Astronomers
Alan Heavens (University of Edinburgh)

Cabinet Secretaries
Margaret Spellings (Secretary of Education)

Clergy
Jaime Lachica Cardinal Sin, former archbishop of Manila

Dentists/Orthodontists
Ngoc Quang Chu, DDS (Bethesda, Md.)
Dalbert Fear, Jr., DDS (Ann Arbor, Mich.)
Ken Hurt, DDS (Albuquerque, N.M.)
Kenneth Krowne, DDS (Brookline, Mass.)
Les Plack, DDS (San Francisco, Calif.)
Anthony J. Puller, DDS (Richmond, Va.)
Randall Toothaker, DDS (University of Nebraska Medical Center)
Barth, Lacy, and Craig Toothman (Columbus, Ohio)

my name is bonnie beaver


Food Critics
Jamie Maw (Vancouver magazine)

Football Players
Brian Baldinger (former defensive lineman, Dallas Cowboys, Indiana Colts, and Philadelphia Eagles)
Joey Goodspeed (former running back, St. Louis Rams)
Quentin Jammer (cornerback for the San Diego Chargers)

Gastroenterologists
Angel Colon (Annapolis, Md.)

Gynecologists
Dr. Bonnie Beaver (West Hills, Calif.)
Dr. Harry Beaver, retired (Fairfax, Va.)
Sheldon H. Cherry (New York, N.Y.)
Dr. Hyman Meltzer, deceased (Chicago)

Leadership Expert
Jack Christ (Ripon College, Ripon, Wis.)

Lobbyists
Leon Billings
Robert Cashdollar

Novelists/Essayists
Francine Prose (New York, N.Y.)

Office Supplies and Equipment
Dean Boring, president, Boring Office Supplies (Lakeland, Fla.)

Opthalmologists
Dr. Kevin Blinder (Washington University)

Ornithologists
David Bird (director, Avian Science and Conservation Center, McGill University, Canada)

Podiatrists
Dr. Allen Korn (Washington, D.C.)

Police
John Lawless (Haverstraw, N.Y.)

Psychologists/Psychiatrists
Dr. Jules Angst, emeritus professor of psychiatry, University of Zurich
Roberta L. Nutt, Ph.D., director, Counseling Psychology Doctoral Program, Texas Women's University

Race-car Drivers
Scott Goodyear
Scott Speed

Rapists, Convicted
Robert Raper (Boston, Mass.)

Realtors
Ann Greathouse (Pittsburgh, Pa.)

Religion, Professors of
Terry Godlove (Hofstra University)

Risk Management
John C. Chicken (author, The Philosophy of Risk)


my name is bonnie beaver

Spokespersons
Larry Speakes (Reagan White House flak)
Am Rong (Khmer Rouge spokesman, Cambodia)

Urologists
Dr. Richard ("Dick") Chopp (Austin, Texas)
Dr. Dennis Peters (Pensacola, Fla.)
Dr. Alexander Philpott (Wheat Ridge, Colo.)
Dr. Keith Waterhouse, retired (New York, N.Y.)

not every day is a good day to be a penguin.

john medina - brain rules.

i plan to do a full-throated plug for it soon, but my friend john medina's book brain rulse came out last month and it's awesome. the website is actually really fun 'cos the book comes with a dvd and stuff. check it out.

the creative team has to move to the other side of the office,

and my manager sent this picture with the email announcement.

yet another joke about how steve nash's penis is a lollipop.

this is just too funny for me to expound on, esp. as the diligently researched article about the steve nash bobblepop covers most of the possible insinuations. does it make me love steve nash any less or more? well, yes. no.